To read a preview of D'Amour Road, visit my storefront at Lulu at
http://www.lulu.com/content/117949 and click on "Preview this book." I have posted the first six or seven pages so that you can see whether or not this book is for you.
Sigrid Mac May 28
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
My first book review!
This was written by Joan McEachern, a former teacher at Algonquin College and an active member of two Chapters' book clubs.
"I started this book at 9 a.m. and finished it at 7 p.m. To say that it held my interest is an understatement. The author uses a personal experience to weave a tale that is both riveting and spellbinding. The details of the Ottawa and Aylmer/Hull backscape are accurate and add in making this adventure real. I felt I was tracing the steps of the principals within the city. A valiant attempt for a first novel. Cudos to Ms. Macdonald."
"I started this book at 9 a.m. and finished it at 7 p.m. To say that it held my interest is an understatement. The author uses a personal experience to weave a tale that is both riveting and spellbinding. The details of the Ottawa and Aylmer/Hull backscape are accurate and add in making this adventure real. I felt I was tracing the steps of the principals within the city. A valiant attempt for a first novel. Cudos to Ms. Macdonald."
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
The ugly American
The other day I was talking to a friend who made a disparaging remark about Americans.
Right away, I reminded her that I had grown up in New Jersey. I'm kind of a hybrid in that I was born in Canada but I left at the age of five. Because my parents are Canadian, we returned to visit every year but basically, I grew up as a Yank. I went to grad school in Toronto and have lived in Ottawa for the last 17 years, so I'd like to believe that I'm a North American and that I don't have quite as many prejudices as someone from either Canada or the United States.
It's funny. Here we are in the age of extreme political correctness. Most people would never make a negative comment about blacks, women, or gays in public. But the same people would think nothing whatsoever about bashing Americans.
I told my friend that it was pretty hard to generalize about Americans given the fact that there are 291 million of them! Moreover, since when does the government represent the people? Just because someone agrees with George Bush's policies -- and that would certainly count me out! -- doesn't make them anti-American. The people and their political leaders are two completely different things.
Only slightly more than 25% of the people actually put a President in office. That's because only 50 - 55% of the registered voters even bother to show up at the polls. Is that apathetic? Not necessarily. When the next Canadian election rolls around, I'm not going. If you're given a choice between one idiot and another idiot, that's not much of choice.
In my novel, D'Amour Road, the woman who goes missing is American. Her best friend's husband is biased against Americans. This character isn't meant to be a stereotype or to represent all Canadians. He's just one guy who believes that George Bush, aggressive American foreign policies, and tacky Hawaiian shorts reflect the American populace. He's wrong! There's also that crazy woman who claimed to find a finger in her Wendy's chili bowl :-)
Sigrid Macdonald
http://www.lulu.com/content/117949
Right away, I reminded her that I had grown up in New Jersey. I'm kind of a hybrid in that I was born in Canada but I left at the age of five. Because my parents are Canadian, we returned to visit every year but basically, I grew up as a Yank. I went to grad school in Toronto and have lived in Ottawa for the last 17 years, so I'd like to believe that I'm a North American and that I don't have quite as many prejudices as someone from either Canada or the United States.
It's funny. Here we are in the age of extreme political correctness. Most people would never make a negative comment about blacks, women, or gays in public. But the same people would think nothing whatsoever about bashing Americans.
I told my friend that it was pretty hard to generalize about Americans given the fact that there are 291 million of them! Moreover, since when does the government represent the people? Just because someone agrees with George Bush's policies -- and that would certainly count me out! -- doesn't make them anti-American. The people and their political leaders are two completely different things.
Only slightly more than 25% of the people actually put a President in office. That's because only 50 - 55% of the registered voters even bother to show up at the polls. Is that apathetic? Not necessarily. When the next Canadian election rolls around, I'm not going. If you're given a choice between one idiot and another idiot, that's not much of choice.
In my novel, D'Amour Road, the woman who goes missing is American. Her best friend's husband is biased against Americans. This character isn't meant to be a stereotype or to represent all Canadians. He's just one guy who believes that George Bush, aggressive American foreign policies, and tacky Hawaiian shorts reflect the American populace. He's wrong! There's also that crazy woman who claimed to find a finger in her Wendy's chili bowl :-)
Sigrid Macdonald
http://www.lulu.com/content/117949
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
I don't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member
Last week, my 18-year-old nephew went to his high school prom. My mother asked me why I didn't attend my prom, and the only reason that I could come up with was that my crowd and I were down on our school. I graduated from high school in 1970 and prided myself on being an anti-establishment kid. If a club or an event was associated with the school, I didn't want any part of it.
In my twenties, I discovered certain clubs that I did want to belong to like SDS (Students for a Democratic Society,) NOW (the National Organization for Women) and the Feminist Party of Canada, which I believe existed for about 10 minutes. I also supported the New Democratic Party in Canada and the Democratic Party in the US. I was a party person! I had become a joiner but I always tried to join groups that were in some way "against" other groups.
Now I have reverted to my original stand. The only clubs that I belong to today are innocuous and uncontroversial like Toastmasters International and Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Who can be FOR drunk driving? We'd be hard-pressed to envision a lobbying group that fought for the rights of drunks to get behind the wheel.
I used to participate in various women's collectives and women's centers, but I don't do that anymore. As much as I love other women and support most of the issues that collectives fight for, I find academic political correctness intolerable. Dissident feminist, Daphne Patai, has written extensively about the suffocating academic environment and the restrictions that many people find on campus in their Women's Studies classes. For a while, I considered myself one of the dissidents but then it seemed to me that the main purpose of groups like Women's Freedom Network was to criticize the traditional women's movement. That was never my goal, so I left the dissidents as well.
In D'Amour Road, my main character Tara is a devoted but ambivalent member of a local women's collective. The group is dedicated to eradicating sexual assault and raising public awareness about this horrific issue. Tara wholeheartedly supports the purpose of the group but she does not share their antipathy towards men. My fictional women's collective sees most issues in terms of black and white - e.g. everything is the fault of the patriarchy -- whereas Tara and I both see the world in terms of very complicated shades of gray.
There's a great sense of comfort and camaraderie in being a part of the group. It can be reassuring, reaffirming, energizing and empowering. But it can also be disturbing, confusing and alienating to belong to a group if you disagree with their policies or practices. I'd like to see certain social and political groups making more of an effort to accommodate different points of view. Debate is healthy. Disagreement is normal. I have Democratic friends who won't have lunch with Republicans! That's insane. Many people can find a common ground if they look hard enough for it. Meanwhile, I'm happy to echo Groucho's old saying, when he sent a telegram to his group stating, "Please accept my resignation. I don't want to be a part of any club that will have me as a member."
Sigrid Macdonald
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
The woman who shot her hairdresser
A couple of weeks ago, a woman shot her hairdresser because she was unhappy with her haircut. I found out about this bizarre episode by listening to CNN's "American Morning" with Bill Hemmer and Soledad O'Brien. Bill made the serious announcement and seemed puzzled as to how this could happen. Soledad paused and said, "Well, Bill, have you ever had a bad haircut?" My sentiments exactly.
Folks, today I'm having a very bad hair day! No matter what I do with my hair, I look like Anne Heche.
In D'Amour Road, Tara develops an obsession with her hair. Her best friend, Lisa, goes missing and as the situation becomes more desperate, Tara becomes increasingly preoccupied with changing her hair. On one hand, I used this storyline to add a little levity to an otherwise dark tale. On the other hand, I wanted to portray the different types of distractions that people use to cope when they are under stress.
When my father was dying of leukemia, I changed my hair color faster than most people change their underwear. I colored my hair brown. I bleached it platinum. I made my hair dirty blonde and then added heavy highlights. I permed it until it had the consistency of a Brillo pad, and then I cut it off so that I had less hair than Donald Trump. By the time my Dad died, I was almost bald!
Playing with my locks seemed to be one of the few things in life that was under my control at the time; certainly, my father's health was not. I hope that you will find Tara's obsession to be amusing, understandable and cathartic. There's just nothing like a day when our hair looks exactly the way that we want it to be. Or at least, that's what my inner Ally McBeal tells me :-)
Sigrid Macdonald. Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
The Tunnel of Love
About two weeks ago, I created a post about unrequited love. Shortly afterwards, I received criticism about disclosing too much personal information about myself. Also, I got several phone calls from a young guy who said that he was the man for me! I suspect that the calls were a prank -- and they were certainly intriguing -- but I decided to pull that post. That doesn't mean that I don't want to address the topic.
In my new book, D'Amour Road, a 39-year-old nurse and mother by the name of Tara, falls in love with Alain, a 24-year-old assistant manager at the grocery store. Since Tara is not a dazzling beauty like Demi Moore, she frets about her infatuation with this man who is 15 years her junior. Much of the dynamics between Tara and Alain are based on my own relationship with a 26-year-old guy, who I will call AJ.
I wanted to add the story about Tara and Alain to illustrate that there are many types of relationships that are ill-fated. 39-year-old Lisa Campana has gone missing and the main suspect in her disappearance is her boyfriend, Ryan Whitman, who has a history of battering. At first glance, Lisa's best friend, Tara, appears to be quite together because she is married to a nice solid man. Closer scrutiny reveals that Tara is miserable in her marriage, and has developed the hots for a much younger guy.
There are many ways in which relationships are doomed to fail and all three of these interactions -- that of Tara with Alain, Tara with her husband Mark, and Lisa with Ryan -- illustrate that point. The title of the book "D'Amour Road" is also a double entendre. On one hand, it's the name of a real-life street in Alymer, Quebec, which will play a role in my story. On the other hand, the title is meant as a warning that says that the road of love can be dissatisfying or even dangerous. I've always liked the lyrics to the Springsteen song, The Tunnel of Love, which go something like this: "When the lights go out, it's just the three of us -- you, me, and all that stuff we're so scared of."
Tell us your stories about unrequited or unfulfilling love. If you've managed to break away from an abusive or unhappy relationship, pat yourself on the back, and write about it in the comment section. Use a pseudonym to protect yourself if necessary.
Sigrid Macdonald
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Carolyn Gardner
This morning, I had the pleasure of being on CFRA radio with Shirley Roy on The Broad Perspective. She had an interesting panel of men and women including Carolyn Gardner, whose sister Sheryl was brutally murdered in 1981 at the tender age of 15. Ralph Power, the man who committed this unspeakable act is currently eligible for day parole. He has never shown any remorse for his crime, and his DNA will not be automatically submitted into a national bank because this was not a legal requirement at the time that he committed the act.
Sometimes the law is so damn picky! Retroactivity is a ridiculous technicality in this case. A potentially dangerous man may be released from prison. The least that the law can do to protect future victims is to take a sample of this man's DNA.
Carolyn has started a petition opposing parole for Ralph Power. Please visit her web site at http://powernoparole.ca to read about the details of her case and to support her efforts.
Many thanks.
Sigrid Macdonald
http://www.lulu.com/content/117949
Sometimes the law is so damn picky! Retroactivity is a ridiculous technicality in this case. A potentially dangerous man may be released from prison. The least that the law can do to protect future victims is to take a sample of this man's DNA.
Carolyn has started a petition opposing parole for Ralph Power. Please visit her web site at http://powernoparole.ca to read about the details of her case and to support her efforts.
Many thanks.
Sigrid Macdonald
http://www.lulu.com/content/117949
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Why does God allow suffering?
It is impossible to discuss adversity or grief without bringing up the concept of God. When I was doing my B.A. in Psychology, I did an honors thesis on the coping mechanisms of concentration camp survivors. I was surprised to discover that many had relied on religious faith to get them through the horror of the camps. I couldn't understand how persecuted people like Viktor Frankel could trust in a Higher Power who allowed such atrocities, let alone how Frankel was able to find meaning in a place as dismal as Auschwitz.
Some people gravitate towards prayer during difficult times whereas others lose their faith. I'm not religious. I'd like to believe but prayer for me is like dialing a phone number that rings and rings, but no one ever answers. My spiritually-inclined friends tell me that I'm looking for the wrong kind of answer. The answer that I want is an eradication of the worst kind of suffering and torture in this world -- suffering that is distributed so randomly. Of course, I will never receive that kind of answer to my pleas.
In his book, When Bad Things Happen To Good People, Rabbi Harold Kushner tackles the tough question of where is God in the midst of our pain and distress. Kushner postulates that God must be either all powerful OR all good, but He cannot be both at the same time. He cannot and does not intervene in our lives because He has given us free will. Our bodies are mortal, therefore, subject to debilitating illness and disease. One person's exercise of free will can interfere with another's. Kushner's argument makes sense to me intellectually but is of no comfort emotionally.
Kushner says that we shouldn't ask God to heal our cancer, protect our children from pedophiles, or prevent Africa from sliding off the face of the continent due to HIV infection, famine, war and other calamities. These are the wrong types of prayer. Instead, we should request qualities from God such as strength, courage and tenacity to deal with hard times. Even Jim Morrison said, "Do Not Petition the Lord with Prayer!"
Some Eastern religions and New Age groups believe that the right type of prayer is to simply give thanks for all of the good things in our lives, and to learn to accept the more challenging ones.
The way I see God or a Higher Power is as a neutral force. I believe that there was a creation, and hence a Creator, but I view the Creator as neither benevolent nor malevolent. If the Creator made all things, then it made everything -- the good, the bad and the ugly. I find it strange that people attribute all of the goodness in the world to God, and all of the bad things to someone or something else (Satan, humanity itself, Rush Limbaugh. LOL.)
A good friend of mine is a Christian Scientist. Once she told me about a hurricane in Florida that had hit a particular area but had missed all of the Christian Scientists' homes! She thought that was amazing and wonderful, but I thought it was ridiculous and discriminating. Why would God choose to allow a fierce storm to destroy the homes of the non-Christian scientists? Why is it when parents pray at the bedside of a desperately sick child that they thank God when that child recovers? But they don't blame God if the child dies.
I don't blame God for anything. I don't think He or She exists, but I'm certainly in the minority. 90 to 95% of all of the world's people believe in some sort of power greater than themselves. I wish that I were one of them. I would especially like to believe in an afterlife -- to think that I will be reunited with my father, my good friend, Meg, who killed herself at the age of 25, my uncle and my grandparents.
Belief in the hereafter has sustained many families of murder victims. In her book Lovely Bones, Alice Seybold describes the graphic murder of young Susie Salmon, who narrates her story from Heaven. It's an interesting concept and by and large, Seybold did a good job. My Mothers Against Drunk Driving group had a spiritualist at one of their functions last year. They were widely criticized for doing so but this man brought comfort to those who had lost a loved one at the reckless hands of an inebriated driver. Who am I to judge the ways in which the injured derive solace?
What are your thoughts on God? Where is He when women and children go missing?
Sigrid Macdonald
Some people gravitate towards prayer during difficult times whereas others lose their faith. I'm not religious. I'd like to believe but prayer for me is like dialing a phone number that rings and rings, but no one ever answers. My spiritually-inclined friends tell me that I'm looking for the wrong kind of answer. The answer that I want is an eradication of the worst kind of suffering and torture in this world -- suffering that is distributed so randomly. Of course, I will never receive that kind of answer to my pleas.
In his book, When Bad Things Happen To Good People, Rabbi Harold Kushner tackles the tough question of where is God in the midst of our pain and distress. Kushner postulates that God must be either all powerful OR all good, but He cannot be both at the same time. He cannot and does not intervene in our lives because He has given us free will. Our bodies are mortal, therefore, subject to debilitating illness and disease. One person's exercise of free will can interfere with another's. Kushner's argument makes sense to me intellectually but is of no comfort emotionally.
Kushner says that we shouldn't ask God to heal our cancer, protect our children from pedophiles, or prevent Africa from sliding off the face of the continent due to HIV infection, famine, war and other calamities. These are the wrong types of prayer. Instead, we should request qualities from God such as strength, courage and tenacity to deal with hard times. Even Jim Morrison said, "Do Not Petition the Lord with Prayer!"
Some Eastern religions and New Age groups believe that the right type of prayer is to simply give thanks for all of the good things in our lives, and to learn to accept the more challenging ones.
The way I see God or a Higher Power is as a neutral force. I believe that there was a creation, and hence a Creator, but I view the Creator as neither benevolent nor malevolent. If the Creator made all things, then it made everything -- the good, the bad and the ugly. I find it strange that people attribute all of the goodness in the world to God, and all of the bad things to someone or something else (Satan, humanity itself, Rush Limbaugh. LOL.)
A good friend of mine is a Christian Scientist. Once she told me about a hurricane in Florida that had hit a particular area but had missed all of the Christian Scientists' homes! She thought that was amazing and wonderful, but I thought it was ridiculous and discriminating. Why would God choose to allow a fierce storm to destroy the homes of the non-Christian scientists? Why is it when parents pray at the bedside of a desperately sick child that they thank God when that child recovers? But they don't blame God if the child dies.
I don't blame God for anything. I don't think He or She exists, but I'm certainly in the minority. 90 to 95% of all of the world's people believe in some sort of power greater than themselves. I wish that I were one of them. I would especially like to believe in an afterlife -- to think that I will be reunited with my father, my good friend, Meg, who killed herself at the age of 25, my uncle and my grandparents.
Belief in the hereafter has sustained many families of murder victims. In her book Lovely Bones, Alice Seybold describes the graphic murder of young Susie Salmon, who narrates her story from Heaven. It's an interesting concept and by and large, Seybold did a good job. My Mothers Against Drunk Driving group had a spiritualist at one of their functions last year. They were widely criticized for doing so but this man brought comfort to those who had lost a loved one at the reckless hands of an inebriated driver. Who am I to judge the ways in which the injured derive solace?
What are your thoughts on God? Where is He when women and children go missing?
Sigrid Macdonald
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Kite Runner
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini is one of the most moving, powerful books that I've read in a long time. It is the story about two young boys growing up in Afghanistan, drawn together by proximity yet separated by class and ethnicity.
The book is narrated by Amir, who reflects back in time to his relationship with his father's servant's son, Hassan. Amir and Hassan grow up together in the cozy, bustling city of Kabul before the Soviet takeover. One is rich and the other is poor. One is Sunni and the other is Sh'ia. All they have in common is their age and the fact that they are both motherless boys. Amir makes a serious and tragic decision at the age of 12 that will haunt him for the rest of his life. As Amir loses his innocence and respect for himself, so does Afghanistan collapse under rule by the Russians, and later by tyranny from the Taliban.
The Kite Runner is a beautiful, poignant, dramatic coming-of-age story that is about friendship, loyalty, betrayal, forgiveness and ultimately, redemption. It explores the complicated relationships that the Sunnis have with the Hazaras, and the even more tangled connection between fathers and sons.
This wonderful novel is currently ranked as number two on Amazon.com. Here's hoping that it will upstage Dan Brown's da Vinci Code, which was alright but more hype than substance.
If you have any books that you would like to recommend, please sign my guestbook.
Sigrid Macdonald
The book is narrated by Amir, who reflects back in time to his relationship with his father's servant's son, Hassan. Amir and Hassan grow up together in the cozy, bustling city of Kabul before the Soviet takeover. One is rich and the other is poor. One is Sunni and the other is Sh'ia. All they have in common is their age and the fact that they are both motherless boys. Amir makes a serious and tragic decision at the age of 12 that will haunt him for the rest of his life. As Amir loses his innocence and respect for himself, so does Afghanistan collapse under rule by the Russians, and later by tyranny from the Taliban.
The Kite Runner is a beautiful, poignant, dramatic coming-of-age story that is about friendship, loyalty, betrayal, forgiveness and ultimately, redemption. It explores the complicated relationships that the Sunnis have with the Hazaras, and the even more tangled connection between fathers and sons.
This wonderful novel is currently ranked as number two on Amazon.com. Here's hoping that it will upstage Dan Brown's da Vinci Code, which was alright but more hype than substance.
If you have any books that you would like to recommend, please sign my guestbook.
Sigrid Macdonald
Monday, April 04, 2005
Turning 40
We live in a youth-oriented culture that values beauty and appearance over wisdom and experience. I still remember the day that I turned 30. I dressed in black from head to toe, lamenting the loss of the prime of my life. I was a part of the Woodstock Nation. Pete Townshend of The Who had warned me not to trust anyone over 30.
At 40, I was working in a women's center at Carleton University. Many of the members of my collective were in their twenties. I pretended to be 39 for three years in a row, so that these young women did not view me as their mother. We talked about racism, sexism, and ageism in broad general terms. But when it came down to the difference between my age and their age, and how old and unattractive that turning 40 made me feel, that topic was off limits.
When I turned 50, I prepared myself for a major identity crisis. I had been severely injured by a drunk driver at the age of 28, thus, my hip joint collapsed when I was 47. I required a total hip replacement at the age of 50. The only thing worse than turning 50 was turning 50 and needing a hip replacement! I felt more geriatric than I had ever imagined possible.
Now that I'm 52, I've decided to come out of the closet. I've started telling everyone how old I am, interjecting the news into completely unrelated conversations. I'm still hung up about my age and trying to get over it. The funny thing about getting older is learning that all of the old clichés are true: youth is indeed wasted on the young, the time for love and forgiveness is always right now, and aging is more of a gift than a burden.
Think about it. We either get old or we die. I'll choose the former, thank you, even though I'm not very gracious about it.
In D'Amour Road, I explore the friendship between two women who are about to turn 40. One of them is reasonably comfortable with her age, but the other has major worries about it. She sees aging as a process that involves nothing but loss when in fact there is much to be gained by getting older. We do get wiser. We do accomplish goals that we never thought were possible. We do learn from our mistakes. What would be ideal would be to take this 52-year-old mind and put it back inside a 25-year-old body, but I don't think I'm going to have that option anytime soon.
That's not to deny the fact that loss is an integral part of growing older. We do lose things with every passing decade. Oftentimes, I wish that my teenage nephews were still 4 and 6 years old! They were so sweet at those ages and they loved spending time with me. Now, I can't catch them on their cell phones or their e-mail. They're not following Aunt Sigrid's life anymore because they're off on their own trip. That pains me. It's hard to keep moving into the future when we have to leave certain things behind. And by definition, moving forward means that we need to forsake some things that have been important to us.
As time goes on, many people's lives become divided into "before" and "after;" before I was raped, before I went bankrupt, before my son announced that he was gay. (None of those things actually happened to me. My before and after include "before my car accident" and "before my father died." Those two events shaped and defined my life.) Then there are also good things that happen to us -- I'm not implying that coming out as gay is a bad thing! My point was that it's a situation that might alarm certain parents and force them to look at their child completely differently.
In terms of good things, there is "before I got married, before I finished college, before my first baby." But whenever we move on to greener pastures, we must give up something, such as our independence, our free nights, or the ability to sleep straight through the evening without worrying about an infant in the next room. Gain and Lose -- it's the cycle of life.
I'm not a religious person. I'm not even spiritual. I'm more what Woody Allen called a "hopeful agnostic." But I really love that verse from Ecclesiastes that says that there is a time for everything. There's a time to be young and a time for middle-age. There is a time to grow old and to die, which is not necessarily a bad thing. It's like sitting through a long movie; we may enjoy the show but we grow weary and want it to end. Not everyone is lucky to live long enough to see old age. Many people around the globe never even reach the age of five! Of course, that's a small consolation to someone who would rather be 25 than 52.
Please sign my guestbook and make your own comments about what it's been like for you at the turn of each decade. Is it different for women? Is it easier for men to age and gain respect or has the preoccupation with youth and beauty also affected men's view of themselves? Let's hear from you!
Sigrid Macdonald
At 40, I was working in a women's center at Carleton University. Many of the members of my collective were in their twenties. I pretended to be 39 for three years in a row, so that these young women did not view me as their mother. We talked about racism, sexism, and ageism in broad general terms. But when it came down to the difference between my age and their age, and how old and unattractive that turning 40 made me feel, that topic was off limits.
When I turned 50, I prepared myself for a major identity crisis. I had been severely injured by a drunk driver at the age of 28, thus, my hip joint collapsed when I was 47. I required a total hip replacement at the age of 50. The only thing worse than turning 50 was turning 50 and needing a hip replacement! I felt more geriatric than I had ever imagined possible.
Now that I'm 52, I've decided to come out of the closet. I've started telling everyone how old I am, interjecting the news into completely unrelated conversations. I'm still hung up about my age and trying to get over it. The funny thing about getting older is learning that all of the old clichés are true: youth is indeed wasted on the young, the time for love and forgiveness is always right now, and aging is more of a gift than a burden.
Think about it. We either get old or we die. I'll choose the former, thank you, even though I'm not very gracious about it.
In D'Amour Road, I explore the friendship between two women who are about to turn 40. One of them is reasonably comfortable with her age, but the other has major worries about it. She sees aging as a process that involves nothing but loss when in fact there is much to be gained by getting older. We do get wiser. We do accomplish goals that we never thought were possible. We do learn from our mistakes. What would be ideal would be to take this 52-year-old mind and put it back inside a 25-year-old body, but I don't think I'm going to have that option anytime soon.
That's not to deny the fact that loss is an integral part of growing older. We do lose things with every passing decade. Oftentimes, I wish that my teenage nephews were still 4 and 6 years old! They were so sweet at those ages and they loved spending time with me. Now, I can't catch them on their cell phones or their e-mail. They're not following Aunt Sigrid's life anymore because they're off on their own trip. That pains me. It's hard to keep moving into the future when we have to leave certain things behind. And by definition, moving forward means that we need to forsake some things that have been important to us.
As time goes on, many people's lives become divided into "before" and "after;" before I was raped, before I went bankrupt, before my son announced that he was gay. (None of those things actually happened to me. My before and after include "before my car accident" and "before my father died." Those two events shaped and defined my life.) Then there are also good things that happen to us -- I'm not implying that coming out as gay is a bad thing! My point was that it's a situation that might alarm certain parents and force them to look at their child completely differently.
In terms of good things, there is "before I got married, before I finished college, before my first baby." But whenever we move on to greener pastures, we must give up something, such as our independence, our free nights, or the ability to sleep straight through the evening without worrying about an infant in the next room. Gain and Lose -- it's the cycle of life.
I'm not a religious person. I'm not even spiritual. I'm more what Woody Allen called a "hopeful agnostic." But I really love that verse from Ecclesiastes that says that there is a time for everything. There's a time to be young and a time for middle-age. There is a time to grow old and to die, which is not necessarily a bad thing. It's like sitting through a long movie; we may enjoy the show but we grow weary and want it to end. Not everyone is lucky to live long enough to see old age. Many people around the globe never even reach the age of five! Of course, that's a small consolation to someone who would rather be 25 than 52.
Please sign my guestbook and make your own comments about what it's been like for you at the turn of each decade. Is it different for women? Is it easier for men to age and gain respect or has the preoccupation with youth and beauty also affected men's view of themselves? Let's hear from you!
Sigrid Macdonald
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Update on the release of my book
D'Amour Road has entered the final stages of production. My graphic artist is working on the cover right now and I plan to proofread the book one last time, although I have already read it about 18 times by now! But I'm a Type A personality, so I have to make sure that everything is absolutely perfect.
I've really enjoyed writing this book. Previously, I had only written nonfiction. For many years, I was a member of the National Organization for Women in New Jersey. I was the head of their Political Action Task Force and their Legislative Task Force. As such, I would write letters to the Editor of the local newspaper, pleas to Congressional Representatives, and short pieces for the NOW newsletter.
Since I moved to Ontario in 1988, my articles have been published by the Globe and Mail newspaper, the American magazine, Justice Denied, and the Women's Freedom Network Newsletter in Washington, DC. Women's Freedom is a dissident organization, meaning that they don't embrace the traditional feminist notions that women are still grievously oppressed. Right now, I'm not associated with any organizations. I consider myself to be an independent anarchist ;-)
I've written extensively about health issues such as thyroid disease, low blood sugar, panic disorder, menopause, arthritis, and joint replacement. D'Amour Road is my first venture into the world of fantasy and fiction, but I seem to have dragged my social work and social activist background with me on the journey.
There were so many issues that I wanted to address in this book, starting with the devastating problem of women who go missing. I also wanted to examine female friendships and the unique kind of intimacy that one friend can have with another. Cultural biases around aging and our collective fear of getting older is another topic that fascinates me. Lastly, I'm interested in the exquisitely painful phenomenon of unrequited love.
D'Amour Road gets into all of these things and more. I was inspired to write this book by the disappearance of an acquaintance of mine in 1996. The story is based in Ottawa, Ontario and I've done my best to portray the downtown core of the city, as well as the surrounding metropolitan areas like Nepean and Kanata. Although the central theme is serious, I've made my main character slightly neurotic and quirky, and I've added humor wherever possible. That's not because I think there's anything funny about missing women! But I believe that laughter is a great coping mechanism and I could never survive without it.
Just last night, I was reading about the school shooting on the Indian Reservation in Minnesota. 16-year-old Jeff Weise from Red Lake killed his grandparents, seven other students, and then himself. His father had committed suicide and his mother was in a coma. Tragic. Jeff must have been in a serious state of grief when he was put on Prozac, which has been known to increase aggression and suicidal tendencies in certain teenagers. He had just had his antidepressant dose increased.
Tears rolled down my cheeks reading that story. Sometimes, we need to distance ourselves from current events or to search for the irony and comedy in even the darkest situations.
I'm very excited about D'Amour Road and hope that you are, too! I expect to publish it within the next three to four weeks. You'll be the first to know :-)
Sigrid Macdonald
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Jessica Lunsford
Convicted sex offender, John Evander Couey, confessed to police on Friday that he killed nine-year-old Jessica Lunsford from Homosassa, Florida. Apparently, Couey entered the Lunsford home through an unlocked door, took the girl from her bedroom, and sexually assaulted her. Because of the drugs in Couey's system, medical examiners cannot determine exactly how long he held Jessica captive; the third grader disappeared in February.
"Lord, we don't always understand your ways," the Rev. William LaVerle Coats said to almost 200 mourners during services at Faith Baptist Church. "We accept what has taken place here, and ask that you would give us some peace." Rev. Coats asked the congregation to forgive Couey.
It was painful to watch Mark Lunsford, Jessica's father, as he spoke to reporters on CNN. Lunsford requested the death penalty for the perpetrator. Personally, I don't believe in the death penalty, but if I were ever to support it, the rape and murder of a child would warrant such a punishment.
I shuddered when I read the words "convicted sex offender," but I was unable to discover further details about Couey's previous offenses. Some people can never be rehabilitated. Pedophiles are notorious recidivists. They should be kept on a very short leash - inside prison.
"Lord, we don't always understand your ways," the Rev. William LaVerle Coats said to almost 200 mourners during services at Faith Baptist Church. "We accept what has taken place here, and ask that you would give us some peace." Rev. Coats asked the congregation to forgive Couey.
It was painful to watch Mark Lunsford, Jessica's father, as he spoke to reporters on CNN. Lunsford requested the death penalty for the perpetrator. Personally, I don't believe in the death penalty, but if I were ever to support it, the rape and murder of a child would warrant such a punishment.
I shuddered when I read the words "convicted sex offender," but I was unable to discover further details about Couey's previous offenses. Some people can never be rehabilitated. Pedophiles are notorious recidivists. They should be kept on a very short leash - inside prison.
Parents -- lock your doors!
Jessica, sweetheart - RIP.
Sigrid Macdonald
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Joyce Carol Oates
Although D'Amour Road is about a missing woman, at heart it is simply a story, which I hope that you will enjoy as much as I enjoy reading good fiction. I'm addicted to reading and usually devour about 50 books a year. I listen to many of these on CD but my favorite way to read is the old-fashioned way -- in print.
If I were stuck on a desert island and could only bring five books with me, one of them would be by Joyce Carol Oates. My ex-boyfriend introduced me to Oates back in 1979. At that time, I read her magnificent tale about migrant farm workers called A Garden of Earthly Delights. It was every bit as good as The Grapes of Wrath. From Wonderland to What I Lived For to Blonde to We Were the Mulvaneys, Oates never ceases to amaze me with the depth and complexity of her characterizations and plots. She is a brilliant and versatile writer with an astonishing ability to bring unique characters to life -- and frequently to death.
Currently, I am reading The Falls. Whenever I take one of Oates' books out of the library, I say to myself "Oh, no!" when I see how long it is because I'm not the fastest reader in the world. However, invariably, I am drawn into her world and am loath to finish her novels. The Falls combines history, geography, politics and the socially taboo topic of suicide along with a marvelous depiction of the way in which families hold us together, or tear us apart. She explores the concept of fatalism, or history repeating itself when people consider themselves to be doomed to follow a certain path.
Oates tackles the tragic beginning of Love Canal and the irresponsibility of the massive chemical plants, as well as the magical power that Niagara Falls exerts over tourists and residents alike. Niagara Falls beckons, seduces, taunts, exhilarates, and terrifies. It is a character all of its own, always rolling and rushing along in the background of the story of the cursed Burnaby family.
If you have not yet discovered Joyce Carol Oates, I would highly recommend this prolific, multitalented Professor of Humanities at Princeton. The main criticism that I have about this book is that the writing was quite sloppy at times. No one knows grammar, style and punctuation better than Oates, but she deliberately breaks the standard rules all the time. Many of her novels contain incredibly long run-on sentences or even run-on paragraphs! I think that she wants to create a breathless, stream of consciousness style, but she doesn't always succeed. In The Falls, the structure of some of her sentences is atrocious; that makes certain passages dense and difficult to read.
Secondly, although I'm drawn to drama and love bleak stories, I found this book slightly more depressing than some of her other works. I'm not exactly sure why. Perhaps it had to do with the constant repetition of the death theme, and one too many doomed relationships.
Since I'm often reading books that I don't like for my book club, I'm always thrilled to be able to close my door, and snuggle up with a great book of my own choosing.
Sigrid Macdonald
If I were stuck on a desert island and could only bring five books with me, one of them would be by Joyce Carol Oates. My ex-boyfriend introduced me to Oates back in 1979. At that time, I read her magnificent tale about migrant farm workers called A Garden of Earthly Delights. It was every bit as good as The Grapes of Wrath. From Wonderland to What I Lived For to Blonde to We Were the Mulvaneys, Oates never ceases to amaze me with the depth and complexity of her characterizations and plots. She is a brilliant and versatile writer with an astonishing ability to bring unique characters to life -- and frequently to death.
Currently, I am reading The Falls. Whenever I take one of Oates' books out of the library, I say to myself "Oh, no!" when I see how long it is because I'm not the fastest reader in the world. However, invariably, I am drawn into her world and am loath to finish her novels. The Falls combines history, geography, politics and the socially taboo topic of suicide along with a marvelous depiction of the way in which families hold us together, or tear us apart. She explores the concept of fatalism, or history repeating itself when people consider themselves to be doomed to follow a certain path.
Oates tackles the tragic beginning of Love Canal and the irresponsibility of the massive chemical plants, as well as the magical power that Niagara Falls exerts over tourists and residents alike. Niagara Falls beckons, seduces, taunts, exhilarates, and terrifies. It is a character all of its own, always rolling and rushing along in the background of the story of the cursed Burnaby family.
If you have not yet discovered Joyce Carol Oates, I would highly recommend this prolific, multitalented Professor of Humanities at Princeton. The main criticism that I have about this book is that the writing was quite sloppy at times. No one knows grammar, style and punctuation better than Oates, but she deliberately breaks the standard rules all the time. Many of her novels contain incredibly long run-on sentences or even run-on paragraphs! I think that she wants to create a breathless, stream of consciousness style, but she doesn't always succeed. In The Falls, the structure of some of her sentences is atrocious; that makes certain passages dense and difficult to read.
Secondly, although I'm drawn to drama and love bleak stories, I found this book slightly more depressing than some of her other works. I'm not exactly sure why. Perhaps it had to do with the constant repetition of the death theme, and one too many doomed relationships.
Since I'm often reading books that I don't like for my book club, I'm always thrilled to be able to close my door, and snuggle up with a great book of my own choosing.
Sigrid Macdonald
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Scott Peterson Sentenced to Death
The long, emotionally draining wait for justice for Laci and Conner Peterson has come to an end with the decision of Judge Alfred A. Delucchi to sentence Scott Peterson to death. As much as I mourn the loss of a beautiful young woman and her unborn child, I cannot condone the penalty.
I have always been opposed to the death penalty under all circumstances. It is disproportionately applied to blacks in the United States and to poor people. Former Governor George Ryan of Illinois wrote a long diatribe about the number of people on death row that were later proven to be innocent upon appeal. You can read that story on my Milgaard Inquiry blog at www.milgaardinquiry.blogspot.com . While he was the Governor, Ryan declared a moratorium on the death penalty and I support his stance.
I know that many people may disagree with my beliefs and I respect their right to do so. Debate is healthy. I am happy to respectfully disagree with others. If you want to express your opinion on the Peterson trial, please sign my guestbook.
Ultimately, I hope that this unfortunate but final decision will bring some peace to the Rocha family.
Although Canada no longer has the death penalty, public sentiment towards prisoners is rife with antipathy. There is always the chance that capital punishment could be reinstated. Poor Stephen Truscott was just a teenager when he was sentenced to death by hanging, and most of us in AIDWYC believe Truscott to be innocent.
There is a chance of executing an innocent man, or someone who committed an offense as a juvenile, or the most appalling circumstance of all: administering a lethal injection to the mentally retarded. One such inmate in Texas was given his last supper and told the guard that he was going to save his dessert for later. Death penalty horror stories abound.
The evidence against Scott Peterson was entirely circumstantial. Many people think that he may be innocent (read www.justiceforscott.com ). This penalty is far too harsh.
Sigrid Macdonald
http://www.lulu.com/content/117949
I have always been opposed to the death penalty under all circumstances. It is disproportionately applied to blacks in the United States and to poor people. Former Governor George Ryan of Illinois wrote a long diatribe about the number of people on death row that were later proven to be innocent upon appeal. You can read that story on my Milgaard Inquiry blog at www.milgaardinquiry.blogspot.com . While he was the Governor, Ryan declared a moratorium on the death penalty and I support his stance.
I know that many people may disagree with my beliefs and I respect their right to do so. Debate is healthy. I am happy to respectfully disagree with others. If you want to express your opinion on the Peterson trial, please sign my guestbook.
Ultimately, I hope that this unfortunate but final decision will bring some peace to the Rocha family.
Although Canada no longer has the death penalty, public sentiment towards prisoners is rife with antipathy. There is always the chance that capital punishment could be reinstated. Poor Stephen Truscott was just a teenager when he was sentenced to death by hanging, and most of us in AIDWYC believe Truscott to be innocent.
There is a chance of executing an innocent man, or someone who committed an offense as a juvenile, or the most appalling circumstance of all: administering a lethal injection to the mentally retarded. One such inmate in Texas was given his last supper and told the guard that he was going to save his dessert for later. Death penalty horror stories abound.
The evidence against Scott Peterson was entirely circumstantial. Many people think that he may be innocent (read www.justiceforscott.com ). This penalty is far too harsh.
Sigrid Macdonald
http://www.lulu.com/content/117949
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Has Canada become less safe?
I remember when I first moved to Toronto in 1977. I had grown up in the suburbs of New Jersey and had always felt perfectly safe there. Despite the jokes about Jersey being a toxic waste dump or a hotbed of racial strife after the riots in Newark in 1967, I was cloistered in the affluent town of Wyckoff, NJ. Wyckoff had a population of approximately 15,000 people and was located about 20 miles outside of Manhattan.
I loved Manhattan! New York City is one of the most thrilling, culturally stimulating places in the world. However, it was a dangerous place before Rudy Giuliani brought his heavy handed law and order tactics to town. As much as I adored visiting Manhattan -- eating in Chinatown, watching the Ice Capades at Madison Square Garden, spending endless hours in the museum of Natural History or the Metropolitan Museum of Art, hanging out in Greenwich Village and going to concerts at the Fillmore East -- I never wanted to live there. The city was too large, too overwhelming, and too scary for me.
That's when I became enamored with Toronto. I went to grad school there. I'll never forget the first day that I walked down University Avenue with its wide boulevards and beautiful flowers. Toronto was so clean compared to Manhattan! When I would stroll down Bloor Street on my way to class, I would watch someone ahead of me drop something like a soda can or an empty pack of cigarettes. Within seconds, the person behind them would walk over, pick the discarded item up and place it in a trash can. Boy, was I impressed with the Canadians.
At the age of 25, I liked to work hard and I liked to play hard. I was often up until two or three in the morning, and I thought nothing of walking home alone from a bar or a friend's house after hours. I would ride the subway, hop the streetcar or use my own two legs to traverse the wonderful, exciting city of TO. I never felt afraid.
A shoeshine boy by the name of Jacques was killed that year on Yonge Street. His death received an inordinate amount of publicity because the murder of a child was so unusual at that time. You would never catch me riding the subways with such ease now in the middle of the night!
I was watching an old Michael Moore movie a few weeks ago -- can't remember if it was Bowling for Columbine or Roger and Me -- but Moore was talking about how safe Canada is. Apparently, he interviewed a handful of people from Canada who said that they don't even lock their doors at night. Who are these people? Good grief, I just read an article in the Ottawa Citizen the other day that said that an 82-year-old woman was tied up by two young guys while they robbed her house. The men had pretended to be city workers or with the Hydro Company.
Canada isn't that safe anymore. Cities like Ottawa, Toronto or Vancouver don't compare to Chicago, Detroit, or Houston, but the freedom that we had as women to stroll our streets any time of night or day is long gone. Of course, safety issues don't only apply to females. Men may be the greatest perpetrators of crime but they are also the greatest victims.
We used to think of violence as something that might happen to us when we were alone late at night. Stranger crime. Someone we didn't know might harm us. But the fact is that we are much more likely to be injured, killed, molested or betrayed by someone we know.
In D'Amour Road, I have portrayed the fear, frustration, and helplessness of 39-year-old Tara Richards when her best friend Lisa Campana goes missing. Throughout the search for her friend, Tara continually tells herself that bad things don't happen in Ottawa: they happen in Atlanta or Los Angeles -- not here. But that's not so. Canada is not the utopia that Michael Moore would have us believe in his spoof called Canadian Bacon.
Sigrid Macdonald
I loved Manhattan! New York City is one of the most thrilling, culturally stimulating places in the world. However, it was a dangerous place before Rudy Giuliani brought his heavy handed law and order tactics to town. As much as I adored visiting Manhattan -- eating in Chinatown, watching the Ice Capades at Madison Square Garden, spending endless hours in the museum of Natural History or the Metropolitan Museum of Art, hanging out in Greenwich Village and going to concerts at the Fillmore East -- I never wanted to live there. The city was too large, too overwhelming, and too scary for me.
That's when I became enamored with Toronto. I went to grad school there. I'll never forget the first day that I walked down University Avenue with its wide boulevards and beautiful flowers. Toronto was so clean compared to Manhattan! When I would stroll down Bloor Street on my way to class, I would watch someone ahead of me drop something like a soda can or an empty pack of cigarettes. Within seconds, the person behind them would walk over, pick the discarded item up and place it in a trash can. Boy, was I impressed with the Canadians.
At the age of 25, I liked to work hard and I liked to play hard. I was often up until two or three in the morning, and I thought nothing of walking home alone from a bar or a friend's house after hours. I would ride the subway, hop the streetcar or use my own two legs to traverse the wonderful, exciting city of TO. I never felt afraid.
A shoeshine boy by the name of Jacques was killed that year on Yonge Street. His death received an inordinate amount of publicity because the murder of a child was so unusual at that time. You would never catch me riding the subways with such ease now in the middle of the night!
I was watching an old Michael Moore movie a few weeks ago -- can't remember if it was Bowling for Columbine or Roger and Me -- but Moore was talking about how safe Canada is. Apparently, he interviewed a handful of people from Canada who said that they don't even lock their doors at night. Who are these people? Good grief, I just read an article in the Ottawa Citizen the other day that said that an 82-year-old woman was tied up by two young guys while they robbed her house. The men had pretended to be city workers or with the Hydro Company.
Canada isn't that safe anymore. Cities like Ottawa, Toronto or Vancouver don't compare to Chicago, Detroit, or Houston, but the freedom that we had as women to stroll our streets any time of night or day is long gone. Of course, safety issues don't only apply to females. Men may be the greatest perpetrators of crime but they are also the greatest victims.
We used to think of violence as something that might happen to us when we were alone late at night. Stranger crime. Someone we didn't know might harm us. But the fact is that we are much more likely to be injured, killed, molested or betrayed by someone we know.
In D'Amour Road, I have portrayed the fear, frustration, and helplessness of 39-year-old Tara Richards when her best friend Lisa Campana goes missing. Throughout the search for her friend, Tara continually tells herself that bad things don't happen in Ottawa: they happen in Atlanta or Los Angeles -- not here. But that's not so. Canada is not the utopia that Michael Moore would have us believe in his spoof called Canadian Bacon.
Sigrid Macdonald
Monday, March 14, 2005
The Missing
According to the Globe and Mail, about 40,000 people are reported missing in Canada every year, yet only a slim minority are the victims of foul play. Most are runaway kids, adults leaving their partners, or older people who have gone wandering.
In recent years, much media attention has been focused on the devastating disappearance of 69 women from Vancouver's East Side. Most of those unfortunates were members of the sex trade. They were poor, drug addicted, and homeless. Many had been sexually abused as children and had grown up in foster homes. 17 of the missing women were Native Americans and two were mixed racial heritage.
The Native Women's Association of Canada estimates that approximately 500 native women have gone missing in the last 20 years. Those numbers have been disputed by other sources, but the consensus is that a disproportionate number of native women have disappeared. Needless to say, these women have not received the kind of publicity that has been showered on well-to-do, white women across North America such as Laci Peterson or Chandra Levy.
The tragic murder of little Cecilia Zhang from Toronto did get a lot of press. However, the disappearance of five-year-old Tamra Keepness from Regina did not. Tamra, who was poor and Native, went missing in July of 2004 and still has not surfaced.
For several years in a row, we were inundated with television news about missing women and children. Laci. Chandra. Lori Hacking. Elizabeth Smart - stolen right out of her bedroom like Cecilia. Samantha Runnion. Danielle Van Dam. It was almost as though there was a Bermuda triangle that was just waiting to swallow up unsuspecting women and kids. Of course, most women -- and men for that matter -- who disappear do resurface again. Only a small percent are victims of murder but that is little consolation to the families of these women and children.
Back in 1996, an acquaintance of mine disappeared. Her name was Louise Ellis. I was the co-coordinator of the David Milgaard Support Group and Louise was an advocate for David. She fell in love with a jailhouse snitch by the name of Brett Morgan, who testified at the Milgaard Supreme Court trial. Morgan shared a cell with Larry Fisher, who was finally convicted of the crime with which Milgaard was erroneously charged. Morgan claimed that Fisher had bragged that he had killed a woman but someone else was doing the time for it.
Louise admired Brett for testifying on David's behalf. Although Brett was a self-avowed murderer, who had strangled a prostitute by the name of Gwen Telford in Edmonton, Louise believed that Brett had reformed. She fell in love with him and worked tirelessly to get him out of prison early. She took him into her home. She gave him a chance at a new life. Nine months later, Louise disappeared. I joined a search team to look for Louise with her good friends, Ron Pouillot and Brenda Wagman, and my closest friend, Cathie Soubliere. We worked together with the Carleton University Womyn's Centre and the Ottawa Police.
Louise's remains were found on the forest floor of Wakefield, Quebec three months later. I never fully recovered from Louise's death even though she and I were not close friends. We were simply acquaintances but we talked on the phone regularly for two years. When she died, I was shocked, deeply saddened and outraged. The whole time that Louise was missing, Brett Morgan was active in the search for her. I met Brett and it was difficult to know how to treat him.
Since I was working in the field of wrongful convictions with my Milgaard group, I didn't want to assume that Morgan was guilty without any proof. However, he had already killed one woman, and male partners are also the first ones that we suspect when a woman disappears out of the blue.
I've been a social activist and a freelance writer for many years. Up until recently, I've always written non-fiction but my lingering preoccupation with the passing of Louise Ellis, and my rage and sorrow at the loss of every single woman and child that I have previously mentioned, prompted me to write a novel called D'Amour Road.
D'Amour Road is NOT the story of Louise Ellis. It is entirely fictional although I did think of Louise frequently when I was writing it. But my character, Lisa Campana, is nothing like Louise Ellis.
Lisa is a sober alcoholic, who has just experienced a major slip. Lisa and her best friend Tara are about to turn 40. The thought fills Tara with dread. She is unhappy with her job as a rehabilitation nurse and disenchanted with her marriage, but lacks the courage to make a major life change.
When Lisa disappears, Tara's life is thrown into turmoil. She's not sure if Lisa has jeopardized her sobriety again by going on a drinking binge, or if she has been harmed by her partner, who has a history of battering. Tara joins a massive search for her friend in conjunction with the police, her colourful women's collective, and a 24-year-old man, whom she finds particularly captivating.
D'Amour Road explores themes as diverse as women's friendships, male violence, wrongful convictions, addictions, cultural biases against aging, unrequited love and infidelity. I have tried to make Tara quirky and funny to relieve some of the darkness of the story. The book is in its final stages of editing and should be available from Lulu Inc. sometime within the next 4 -- 8 weeks. I hope that you will enjoy my tale and find it provocative.
Although the book takes place in April of 2004, I do allude to the disappearance of Tamra, which did not actually occur until a few months later. But the racist bias against Natives is so disturbing that I felt compelled to include Tamra in my novel. When I did a quick search on Yahoo for Elizabeth Smart, 2,340,000 entries popped up, whereas when I searched for Tamra only 1,700 results emerged. What a sad commentary.
Please check out my links and sign my guestbook. I'd love to hear from you. Don't hesitate to suggest web sites with good fiction. So far, I've only linked to social issue sites, but I do plan to expand my "Herizons."
Thanks. Sigrid
http://www.lulu.com/content/117949
In recent years, much media attention has been focused on the devastating disappearance of 69 women from Vancouver's East Side. Most of those unfortunates were members of the sex trade. They were poor, drug addicted, and homeless. Many had been sexually abused as children and had grown up in foster homes. 17 of the missing women were Native Americans and two were mixed racial heritage.
The Native Women's Association of Canada estimates that approximately 500 native women have gone missing in the last 20 years. Those numbers have been disputed by other sources, but the consensus is that a disproportionate number of native women have disappeared. Needless to say, these women have not received the kind of publicity that has been showered on well-to-do, white women across North America such as Laci Peterson or Chandra Levy.
The tragic murder of little Cecilia Zhang from Toronto did get a lot of press. However, the disappearance of five-year-old Tamra Keepness from Regina did not. Tamra, who was poor and Native, went missing in July of 2004 and still has not surfaced.
For several years in a row, we were inundated with television news about missing women and children. Laci. Chandra. Lori Hacking. Elizabeth Smart - stolen right out of her bedroom like Cecilia. Samantha Runnion. Danielle Van Dam. It was almost as though there was a Bermuda triangle that was just waiting to swallow up unsuspecting women and kids. Of course, most women -- and men for that matter -- who disappear do resurface again. Only a small percent are victims of murder but that is little consolation to the families of these women and children.
Back in 1996, an acquaintance of mine disappeared. Her name was Louise Ellis. I was the co-coordinator of the David Milgaard Support Group and Louise was an advocate for David. She fell in love with a jailhouse snitch by the name of Brett Morgan, who testified at the Milgaard Supreme Court trial. Morgan shared a cell with Larry Fisher, who was finally convicted of the crime with which Milgaard was erroneously charged. Morgan claimed that Fisher had bragged that he had killed a woman but someone else was doing the time for it.
Louise admired Brett for testifying on David's behalf. Although Brett was a self-avowed murderer, who had strangled a prostitute by the name of Gwen Telford in Edmonton, Louise believed that Brett had reformed. She fell in love with him and worked tirelessly to get him out of prison early. She took him into her home. She gave him a chance at a new life. Nine months later, Louise disappeared. I joined a search team to look for Louise with her good friends, Ron Pouillot and Brenda Wagman, and my closest friend, Cathie Soubliere. We worked together with the Carleton University Womyn's Centre and the Ottawa Police.
Louise's remains were found on the forest floor of Wakefield, Quebec three months later. I never fully recovered from Louise's death even though she and I were not close friends. We were simply acquaintances but we talked on the phone regularly for two years. When she died, I was shocked, deeply saddened and outraged. The whole time that Louise was missing, Brett Morgan was active in the search for her. I met Brett and it was difficult to know how to treat him.
Since I was working in the field of wrongful convictions with my Milgaard group, I didn't want to assume that Morgan was guilty without any proof. However, he had already killed one woman, and male partners are also the first ones that we suspect when a woman disappears out of the blue.
I've been a social activist and a freelance writer for many years. Up until recently, I've always written non-fiction but my lingering preoccupation with the passing of Louise Ellis, and my rage and sorrow at the loss of every single woman and child that I have previously mentioned, prompted me to write a novel called D'Amour Road.
D'Amour Road is NOT the story of Louise Ellis. It is entirely fictional although I did think of Louise frequently when I was writing it. But my character, Lisa Campana, is nothing like Louise Ellis.
Lisa is a sober alcoholic, who has just experienced a major slip. Lisa and her best friend Tara are about to turn 40. The thought fills Tara with dread. She is unhappy with her job as a rehabilitation nurse and disenchanted with her marriage, but lacks the courage to make a major life change.
When Lisa disappears, Tara's life is thrown into turmoil. She's not sure if Lisa has jeopardized her sobriety again by going on a drinking binge, or if she has been harmed by her partner, who has a history of battering. Tara joins a massive search for her friend in conjunction with the police, her colourful women's collective, and a 24-year-old man, whom she finds particularly captivating.
D'Amour Road explores themes as diverse as women's friendships, male violence, wrongful convictions, addictions, cultural biases against aging, unrequited love and infidelity. I have tried to make Tara quirky and funny to relieve some of the darkness of the story. The book is in its final stages of editing and should be available from Lulu Inc. sometime within the next 4 -- 8 weeks. I hope that you will enjoy my tale and find it provocative.
Although the book takes place in April of 2004, I do allude to the disappearance of Tamra, which did not actually occur until a few months later. But the racist bias against Natives is so disturbing that I felt compelled to include Tamra in my novel. When I did a quick search on Yahoo for Elizabeth Smart, 2,340,000 entries popped up, whereas when I searched for Tamra only 1,700 results emerged. What a sad commentary.
Please check out my links and sign my guestbook. I'd love to hear from you. Don't hesitate to suggest web sites with good fiction. So far, I've only linked to social issue sites, but I do plan to expand my "Herizons."
Thanks. Sigrid
http://www.lulu.com/content/117949
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