Mrs. Missing

There are a number of different ways that women can disappear. They can be kidnapped and murdered, or they can leave town or get married! Excuse me for being facetious tonight but this afternoon I made 32 phone calls trying to track down an old friend of mine from grad school.

Firstly, women disappear because Bell Canada encourages them not to list their full first name in the phone book. When I lived in Toronto, Bell wanted me to list my name as S. Macdonald but I refused because there were dozens of S. Macdonalds in the phone book. I knew that no one would be able to find me that way whereas everyone would find Sigrid immediately because it's so distinct.

Secondly, women fade into that huge Bermuda Triangle once they get married since they usually take on their husband's name. I seriously doubt that my good friend from grad school has been abducted by aliens, and I have ruled out her listing herself by her initial by my 32 ambitious phone calls. Thus, she either moved, had a sex change operation or got married.

I have nothing against marriage but it's awkward for everyone when women give up their maiden names -- or even their names from their first marriage -- because it makes them so damn difficult to locate. WOMEN - Sign up with classmates.com so that all of your old friends can find you!

Sigrid Macdonald