Words of Wisdom: Fearless by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna

Fear, insecurity and depression are part of the human experience, but they can be debilitating. Although fear can never be completely eradicated, it can be managed in a healthy manner, says psychologist Brenda Shoshanna. Author of The Anger Diet and Zen Miracles, Dr. Shoshanna uses many anecdotes and stories from Buddhism to demonstrate how to create an authentic self, to let go of perfectionism and blaming others, and to differentiate pain from suffering in her new book Fearless: 7 Principles of Peace of Mind.

Fearless is reminiscent in many ways of A Course in Miracles, which believes that there are only two basic emotions -- fear and love. All negative emotions, such as anger, indignation, and grief stem from a state of fear, and occur when we are not feeling or expressing love. Society encourages us to put on a false face and to care too much about what other people think; this creates phoniness. We can no longer be true to ourselves or to anyone else if we are constantly seeking approval, or wondering what others think about us. By letting go of the need to pretend to be someone else, we reduce unhappiness.

Likewise, many people are resistant to change, which holds us back. Shoshanna advocates welcoming whatever is in our lives at the moment, and being particularly attentive (or mindful) to it, even if it is painful or appears to be negative. For example, if you're diagnosed with cancer, embrace it. Look for the hidden opportunity to grow as a person. If your husband suddenly decides to leave you, let him go. Move forward. Suffering would only result if you blamed him, or yourself, and made yourself miserable. These maxims are easier said than done, but mindfulness and accepting what we can't change are tenets of all good philosophies.

Forgiveness also has healing properties. One of my favorite quotes in the book is, "It's easy to get rid of enemies. Take them to lunch. Let them be the stars. Think of ways you can give to them. Turn them into friends."

This book is not meant to be read in one sitting; it's meant to be studied. Fearless contains many pearls of wisdom, and in that respect it is not merely a pop psychology book. But, there are some areas that Shoshanna doesn't address. What about clinical depression, panic disorder and bipolar disease? Sometimes people are anxious or depressed for chemical, or even physical, reasons related to medical problems. Those may not resolve with a new attitude and perspective on life, however brilliant.

The same is true about millions of Americans whose homes are in danger of foreclosure -- a group that Dr. Shoshanna refers to in the preface of the book, but fails to adequately address within the text. It's one thing to stop worrying about what others think of you. It’s something entirely different to welcome the opportunity to be unable to feed your children or live with your family in your car.

Fearless is not a panacea for all that ails us, but it is a great starting place, and I would highly recommend it. I plan on rereading this book several times over the decades.

Sigrid Macdonald is a reviewer for Bookpleasures.com.